So yes, I am an idiot. It simply wasn’t enough to stress myself out almost to the point of suffering a debilitating stroke. I had to compound it by leaving my wallet in another coat pocket. How to start a road trip, Frazzledad style!
I turned the car around just before the ferry pay booth, stepped on the gas, and high-tailed it back to Ladysmith. The only thing I had going in my favour was that we were early for the ferry. Maybe I could get home, grab my wallet, and get back to the ferry in time to catch this boat. Otherwise it was going to be a long night of driving.
I don’t think I need to go into detail about this. After all, I shared enough anxiety-inducing detail in my previous post. Suffice to say, my wallet was exactly where I thought it was, I grabbed it, and drove back to the ferry.
And not only that, but we still made it onto the boat! We weren’t going to lose anymore time due to my mental moronitude. I’ll take the win…
Rocky start that it was, we were on our way! We had two hours to kill on the ferry, and then a short drive to the border. And, given the dodgy international situation between Canada and the good ole US of A, I was still a little nervous. Just a mild-mannered, law-abiding family, sneaking across the border with a German National. Heck, what could go wrong?
Well as it turns out, something could.
Just kidding! She wasn’t really thrown in jail. Yet.
The Border
We pulled up to the Peace Arch border crossing and the sign said a 20 minute wait. That’s not too bad. Although it ended up being about 30 minutes before it was our turn.
The border guard, Officer Schneider, was friendly and engaging. He asked about our trip, and seemed genuinely interested. He chatted with Jana about his own German roots, his family living in Germany, and then handed back our passports. With a friendly smile he said, “You need to go park over there, go inside and get an I-94 form. German tourists need it to come into the US. It costs 6 dollars and gives you permission to enter the US.”
Why don’t they actually tell you this when applying for a tourist visa!? Oh well, doesn’t matter. We drive out of the line into the US and are directed to park and leave the keys on the dashboard. Then we head inside the cavernous US Customs and Border Patrol building. An officer directs us to Line B. We’re the only ones in Line B. In Line A are 4 or 5 other individuals, patiently waiting to be grilled by border patrol officers hulking behind the long counter. Interestingly, they’re all people of colour. Asian, Indian, Black. One white guy, but he’s with his Asian girlfriend.
And so we wait. Every so often, one of the hapless folks from Line A gets called up, where they’re questioned by the stone-faced border patrol officer behind his computer. Then they’re sent back to the line to wait. 30 minutes pass. We wait, trying to stay cheerful and joking around.
Finally one of the guards calls us up. He’s Asian American, also stone-faced, and humourless. This should be fun…
The Interrogation
Ever see the show “The Mentalist”? Great show. One of the characters is Agent Cho, a dead serious, no-nonsense badass FBI agent. This is our border patrol officer. Great!
With a deadpan expression, he begins asking us questions about our trip. Why are we going to the Grand Canyon? What are we doing there? Are we meeting anyone? How long will we be there? Are we going anywhere else? Are we carrying any weapons? How do we know each other? Do we think their new President is great? Why is Jana with us?
We keep our answers short and light. No point in being too glum about it all. And hopefully at the end of all this interrogation, Jana will have her I-94 and we can be on our way. So we laugh, and we stay friendly.
At one point, Heather mentions she’s a teacher. Agent Cho looks up from his screen, slightly interested. “What do you teach”, he asks. She tells him she’s a French Immersion teacher. He looks confused. “What’s that?” And so she patiently explains that we have two official languages, English and French. We joke a bit amongst ourselves, being silly Canadians. And Agent Cho fights off a smile. Did we crack his granite veneer? I stifle a laugh while my inside voice says, “Don’t screw this up now!”
The Search
Then Agent Cho sends us back to our Line B and he heads out the back door. Oh wonderful! They’re going to search our car. The one that’s jammed with all our camping gear, and enough clothes to keep us warm on the rim of the Grand Canyon, and cool in the depths of Death Valley. The same car that has a broken rear hatch. They can only get in through the passenger door and crawl over the back seat.
After an eternity, Agent Cho returns and waves us back to the counter. Finally, he takes Jana’s picture and her fingerprints. He passes us a slip of yellow paper and tells us we can go down to the cashier and pay the 6 bucks. We’re free to go.
At last, we’re back outside and walking to the car. It’s dark out. So much for making up time!
Officer Schneider is waiting, beaming a pleasant smile. “We couldn’t open the back of your SUV. We didn’t want to break the latch, so we just peaked in the back seat.” Wow! That’s a far cry from my border crossing 45 years earlier, when the border guards stripped down my car and left it all for me to put back together. But that’s another story…
And finally, against all expectations, we were on our way. Off to the Grand Canyon! Not exactly how to start a road trip, but whatever.
The Drive
My original plan was to drive over the Cascades and down the east slope, and overnight in Yakima, Washington. That would give us two relatively easy days of driving, and get us to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon in the early afternoon. Plenty of time to set up our campsite and go take Heather for a nice birthday dinner. Yup, she was celebrating her birthday on our arrival day!
So we drove. I did my best to make up time and, thanks to the higher highway speeds in Washington, and the very well-lit freeways, we managed to make up a lot of time. Even through a blizzard over the Snoqualmie Pass, we made up time. With little traffic and relatively clear roads, we pulled into Yakima before midnight. Four hours after my original estimate, we made it to our planned destination. Yay me!
But man! I was tired. This was a crazy, emotional day. Between tearing the house apart for a lost passport, forgetting my wallet and making two trips to the ferry terminal, being grilled by Agent Cho and the deceivingly friendly Officer Schneider, I was done.
I was in bed within ten minutes of getting into our motel room. A bed never felt so good!
I really don’t recommend using my first day of this epic journey as a guide for how to start a road trip. My suggestion is to keep things a bit simpler. Maybe start by not crossing an international border. Especially the border between Canada and the nation to the south!
And even if you don’t need a passport, for God’s sake, don’t forget your wallet!
Back in time I had it easier when entering USSR and Eastern Bloc
countries during the cold war than you had going to the jolly old USA ! Ah! how times have changed.
Times have most definitely changed! It’s gonna be at least 4 years before we brave that border again.